he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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