Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
