Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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