I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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