Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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