oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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