New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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