did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
