ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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