so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
And then he peed in my hair
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