Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You were trust falling into bushes
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
