new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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