i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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