I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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