If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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