I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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