Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
