this will be a night to untag.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
