I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
