3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
