Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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