If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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