I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
