I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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