i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize