my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
