His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
