READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
