after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
