He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I need to sanitize my soul.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
