I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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