The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Drunk is a universal language darling
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize