Already got asked if we're dating
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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