her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
