Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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