we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
