He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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