Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
handjob tips. give me some.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
