Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
