Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
