Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
