i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
