that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize