I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
