so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize