What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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