i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize