shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
