I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
