No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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