I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
