so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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