Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
