Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
