so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
