Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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