we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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