You just made me feel so damn special
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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