Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
